Teenagers’ lives are often a closed book to parents and however hard we may try we simply cannot get them to open the book and read what is inside it. But how are we going to keep our children safe and help them to develop into self-sufficient and confident adults if we are not sure what they are doing, where they are going, who they are spending time with, what they think and how they feel?
Well, here are 4 tips that might help to open that book just enough to get a glimpse inside.
Tip 1 – Start when your children are young. It is much easier to keep a relationship rolling along than it is to start it up initially and this is particularly true with our children. If we start literally from the day they are born and build a close and strong relationship then life will be relatively easy when they get to those difficult teenage years. However, if we keep our distance, or simply do not have the time to get close to them when they are young, then it is going to become increasingly hard to do so as they get older.
Tip 2 – Seek out common ground. We all have things which we enjoy doing by ourselves but it is important that partners also share interests and have some things, such as fishing, hiking or gardening which they enjoy doing together. This is not only true of partners however and should also extend to parents and children. Accordingly, seek out something, and preferably a number of things, which you and your kids can enjoy doing together as a family and that provides you with a common interest to talk about.
Tip 3 – Listen to what your children say and maintain an open mind. During their teenage years children often form opinions very quickly and often without an adequate understanding of the issues at hand. This means that they will sometimes come out with comments which you find concerning or which you do not like or agree with. Nevertheless, take the time to listen to what they are saying and try not to judge them too quickly or harshly. There is nothing wrong with telling them that do not agree with them or do not approve of something provided you go on to explain why and do not turn what you are saying so that becomes an attack on them.
Tip 4 – Make time for your children. One of the main concerns for most teenagers is that they are not able to spend enough time with their parents and this is frequently seen as a matter of their parents not caring enough about how they are feeling or what they are doing. One major result of this is that teenagers also frequently feel unable to talk to their parents when they have a problem and want some help.
Many of us lead very busy lives but if we were talking about a client instead of our own kid you can bet your life that we would make the time necessary for that client. Well, our kids are far more important than any client at work and so it should not really be too hard to make some time every day, or at the very least every week, to devote ourselves solely to our children for a while.
There are many different ways of ensuring that we spend sufficient time with our kids and often it is just a matter of organizing our time better. One simple way to meet our aims is to ensure that the entire family sits down to dinner each evening and that this is a time to both eat and talk. Another way to spend time with your teenagers is to drive them to school every morning rather than letting them ride the bus. Yet another suggestion is to play sport together one or two times a week. There are any number of ways to make time for your kids if you just your mind to it.
Parenting is not easy and this is especially true when it comes to troubled teenagers but always remember that hundreds of thousands of parents are already been down this road and are only too willing to let you have some parenting advice if you just ask for it.
Tags: educating teenagers, Parenting, parents, secretive teenagers, teenage secrets, teenagers, teens
