For 4 years I sat in the waiting room at my daughter’s dojo while she was being taught how to defend and protect herself.  For some reason I just never made the connection between her defending herself and growing as a skilled female Martial Artist and me defending myself and growing as a skilled female Martial Artist.   

I always attended the belt testing sessions and I watched many adults and children progressing through the ranks of the belt system.  I was always happy for them but I still didn’t see any relation to their skills and my life.  It happened to me after one particular belt testing session.  I watched a woman who had been in the dojo for perhaps 2 years as she earned another belt plus she had lost a significant amount of weight since she started training in Shotokan karate.  I caught a glimpse of the deep satisfaction she was experiencing and I suddenly realized this was not simply for my daughter but it was for me too. 

I signed up immediately and began an incredible journey.   I knew little about dojos or karate etiquette but I found myself enjoying and appreciating the required rules of respect.  So seldom in our society do we experience the kind of respect we are all entitled to receive and we are seldom held to a standard where we must exhibit rules of respect. 

I have been training for 5 years and I can proudly say that I, a woman of 47 years of age, am a 3^rd degree brown belt.  I have shed some tears and experienced more physical injuries than I care to remember, however, the physical and mental benefits that I have experienced cannot be replaced.  The sense of satisfaction I feel is beyond measure.

I feel physically and mentally capable of defending myself should I ever have too.  I have learned from my Martial Arts training to be aware of my surroundings and I carry this into my life every day.   I did experience a level of fear in my life prior to my training.  This fear has been replaced by confidence.  I know that if ever I am attacked I have an extremely good chance of prevailing.  

I really enjoy the physical benefits that have come along as a bonus.  With the physical demands of training comes the ability to eat and enjoy food without much worry of weight gain. To look at me you wouldn’t know that my body has become extremely muscular providing me with a great deal of strength. 

If you are feeling stuck in a rut and you are bored with the gym and pilates and yoga classes and you think you are too old to learn a new skill like Shotokan karate then please  think again and give it a try.  I have friends at the dojo that are in their 50s and have never felt better.  Watch for my next blog titled “Women and Empowerment with Martial Arts”.   

For those of us in the Baby Boom generation The Sandwich Generation has become all too real.  We are still raising children.  Many of us have hormonal teenagers that are providing us with all the gray hair we never wanted and still many of us are enjoying the fast paced world of raising small children.

Take your busy day to day life as a parent and combine that with the now ever increasing needs of your own parents.  Not only do your children, and all of their activities and running your household, need you but so do your parents.  If this sounds like you then you are one of The Sandwich Generation.

The term “Sandwich Generation” is used to describe people who are simultaneously squeezed between caring for their aging parents and caring and supporting their dependent children at the same time.

We must talk about you, the caregiver.  Stress management and mental wellness are critical in helping you to deal with all of the demands that are placed upon you while you try to be the best parent you can be to your children and care for your aging parents as best you can.  If you are working full time this becomes even more necessary and challenging. 

Follow some simple steps to avoid becoming depressed, anxious and exhausted:

–         Stay connected with family and friends.  Be sure to have fun, laugh and focus on things other than your responsibilities and do not feel guilty about it because keeping an emotional balance will help you to be a better caregiver.

–         Always take care of yourself.  There is less chance of burnout or depression if you stay healthy. Eat well, stay rested and exercise no matter what.

–         Ensure that you have a support network.  You need friends, family and others that can step in and help.  Be willing to accept help.  It’s important to recognize that no one can do everything and sometimes things will not be accomplished perfectly.

–         Be honest and straightforward with your employer about your needs.  Perhaps there is room for flexibility in your job schedule.

–         Utilize local resources.  There are often resources in your community that are dedicated to assisting with the elderly and their caregivers.

–         Accept that you will have days when you cannot escape feeling tired or angry.  These feelings are normal.  Be sure to talk about them with someone you trust.

Be prepared to mourn the loss of the relationship, as you have always known it, with your parents.  In most cases your parents have always been there to support you and now the dynamics have changed and this can be hard to face.  Accept that your children do not always understand the demands that are placed on you and they are simply being children with their own wants and needs. 

MOST IMPORTANT: Be a caregiver to you – always be kind to yourself and if you are having a hard time doing this enlist the help of a good friend who understands and will pour you a cup of tea and lend you an ear and a helping hand.